Issue #9: How to Start a Book Club

Ideas to expand your circle and some random musings

First of all, I just want to say thank you. I wrote about my grief journey last month and got the kindest messages after hitting the publish button. It’s hard to be vulnerable and put things out in the world. So many of us grew up in a world where we were told that emotions make us weak, but I think it’s the complete opposite, and the more we talk about it, the stronger we all become. I’ve just been over here feeling my feelings when they come up, and by allowing them in, I think they find their way back out faster.

Let’s get into the real content this month - book clubs!

How to Start a Book Club

Making friends as an adult is hard. It’s awkward and uncomfortable. The older I get, the harder it is for me. I have some close friends back home that I’ve grown so much with over the years, but now that I’m more set in my ways, it’s hard to break out of my comfort zone. Books are one of the easiest ways to start a conversation with someone. Every reader loves to get recommendations and be asked for recommendations. I’ve followed people online, seen their book club gatherings, and become insanely jealous. How do people find these clubs? Do they just find complete strangers at a bookstore? I decided to go on this journey when I moved back to Minneapolis in 2017 because I wanted to connect with more women.

Turns out, there isn’t a magical list of book clubs with everyone’s bio listed out, so you could decide if it was a good fit long before making the awkward introductions. I decided to try a different route, and after working with a few friends to make it happen, I’m proud to say that we came up with an equation that worked. Since I’m back in the space of dreaming about a book club, I figured I’d circle back to this topic again and share it with others in case it could help you:

1. Connect with one person in your circle who you feel comfortable with and who loves to read (or at least reads close to the same amount you do.) This person should share your excitement about the possibility of a book club because they are going to have to do the same amount of work and organizing as you.

2. Each of you looks through your contacts and invites one additional person. You don’t have to know each other’s invite, but just find someone who likes to read and is open to joining a book club.

3. You’ll have four people at this point. One more time, have the whole group invite one more person from your circle. This could be coworkers, neighbors, mom group acquaintances, etc. It’s OK if you can’t think of someone at this stage. I think the ideal book club has 8 people because there are always going to be some who can’t make a meeting work.

4. Once you’ve gathered your group, host a happy hour or coffee chat and gather the entire group. We used the Doodle app to see what calendar dates worked for everyone. Have each person bring one or two suggestions for books to read with the book club.

5. On the day of the gathering, make sure that your original group is there a few minutes early so everyone arriving knows at least one person in the room. Serve food and drinks, and just take some time to introduce yourselves. We did group introductions for the first three meetings to avoid anyone having to ask, “What was your name again?”

6. Share your book suggestions and see if anyone is strongly opposed to any. Write all the good ones down on slips of paper and draw 2 or 3 out of a hat. Those are your first few books. Decide if you want the suggester to host the month that their book is shared or if you want a different system. We just took turns based on availability and time of year. Some people had great backyards for summer, and others had cozy inside space that was better for the Minnesota winter. Set your first book club meeting that night.

7. Start a group text thread to send out reminders for the meeting a week before and any other book club info. Emails would work too.

8. Book club meetings will transform a bit depending on the book, who can attend, and other things going on in life. We always started by sharing any big life things happening and chatting about current events for a bit. Talk about the book and give everyone a chance to share. If people didn’t finish, that’s OK, but they cannot get mad about spoilers.

9. When you’re done, set the next meeting time and book or send a Doodle within a day or two if many people were missing. Always make a plan for the next meeting and remind everyone about the next book.

10. Congrats. You did it. You helped bring together a group of people who share some light connections but are able to make new connections and talk about books with others.

Our book club would likely still be going on, except that I quit my job and left on a one-way flight to New Zealand, and my partner in crime went on to be on a Norwegian reality show (that she won) and also left the country. We made it a whole year, drank good wine, read great books, and had even better conversations. If someone knew someone that was searching for a book club, we were all pretty open to inviting them into the circle.

Maybe just writing these out will get my ass in gear trying to do something similar here in Seattle (local friends - let me know if you’re interested.)

Online Book Clubs and Resources

I have to mention that I’m extremely grateful for the online resources I’ve had over the last four years and the informal book talk I’ve had with friends.

Goodreads is my go-to book app. It organizes the thousands of books that I wish to find the time to read someday. I get to stalk my friends and see what they are reading (Hi Meredith!), and I even won a giveaway once for a book (after entering a thousand times.) Follow me here.

My friend, Steph, shares the books she reads every month on Instagram, and I love getting new titles to add to my list and discussing thoughts with her in short messages. Follow her here or subscribe to her Substack here and get emails like this one.

The UMCast is one of my favorite podcasts. It’s two bloggers that I have followed for what feels like a million years, and I consider them my internet friends. Their real-life book club is one that I’m sure I’ve been jealous of dozens of times in the past, but they are now chatting about books more on their podcast. Also, the stories they tell are incredibly relatable. Get all the details here.

Books I Would Recommend for a Book Club

The Midnight Library by Matt Haig

There aren’t many books I want to reread (because there are just too many to finish in my lifetime.) But I always think about this book and would have loved to talk about it with people right when I finished it.

The Great Alone by Kristin Hannah

I loved this story and reading about living the frontier life in Alaska. The community element was fascinating, and the author just has an interesting way of telling stories. I read it while traveling and would have loved to process my feelings with any human.

Catch and Kill: Lies, Spies, and a Conspiracy to Protect Predators by Ronan Farrow

#MeToo is something that most women can relate to in one way or another. While this book was written by a male, I couldn’t put it down and constantly wanted to talk about it. I made my husband read it right after me and made him talk to me about it after each chapter.

Notes on an Execution by Danya Kukajka

I just finished this book, and it’s what made me write this piece. I shut the book after consuming it over just a few days and just wanted to talk to someone about it. Those are the best books to have a book club for.

Boys I Know by Anna Gracia

When you know the author, you might even be able to get her to send your book club a message. :) If you don’t own Anna’s book already, buy it and then get excited for her next one.

For more book ideas, you can see my list of favorite books I read in 2022. Leave a comment and let me know what book you would want to read with a book club.

Some Random Musings

This hidden library is better than anything I could have dreamed. If you need a spring playlist, I made this one with songs that make me think of those first few warm days when the flowers are waking up. Anytime I read, I’m curled up under this blanket (we have it in three colors). Planning a trip? Here are 20 reasons to add SE Asia to your future travel plans. I’m buying myself new Birks for my birthday, and I’m either getting this color or this color - this is such a fun decision.

And finally, did you know that one of my paying jobs is to share dog content daily in an email? Get a daily dose of dogs in your inbox and sign up for The Daily Dig. Click here to add your email and see what kind of hilarious dog videos I pull on Instagram. Don’t give up on your dream job.

Also, share this with your friends or maybe people you want to nudge about a book club. Cheers!