Issue #62: 'Tis the Season for Love and Comedy
Why do Rom-Coms get so much hate? Plus a list of simple ways to spread love without spending a penny.
February always brings out all the roses, candy boxes, and heart-shaped pizzas. Valentine’s Day is one of those “Hallmark” holidays where someone makes a lot of money off a huge chunk of the population having to prove their love for their significant other with presents. Meanwhile, the rest of the population either sulks and feels bad about their relationship status or gets a constant headache from rolling their eyes back in their head so often.
I often fall into the eye-roll category, but I don’t hate the idea of celebrating love. I like to do it in ways that don’t involve cheesy signals all over social media, but who am I to judge? Love stories are classic, and each has its own unique cadence and vibe. I’m going to dive into one of our favorite kinds of love stories - the romantic comedy. Plus, I want to share some of my favorite ways to spread and receive love. So let’s dive into the mushy stuff.
What’s the Deal with Romantic Comedies?
The rom-com was a top-earning movie genre in the 90s. Perfect timing for my pre-teen and teenage years. Why not give us a completely unrealistic view of romantic relationships? But there’s just something about cheesy stories with pop songs playing in the background that provide me with comfort in a world of disastrous headlines.
Books about movies aren’t typically my jam, but I was intrigued when I heard about a book that deeply explores the rom-com genre. From Hollywood With Love dives into the history of romantic comedy and its ups and downs. It was the perfect book to pick up and put down every few days between my doomscrolling.
From Hollywood With Love: The Rise and Fall (and Rise Again) of the Romantic Comedy
Scott Meslow breaks down his book into chapters, with each one covering a specific rom-com like When Harry Met Sally and Waiting to Exhale. He showcases the timeline of the rise of this genre to the crash and burn and then back to the more recent resurgence.
It gave me an excuse to rewatch these classics over the last few months. Each chapter was packed with behind-the-scenes info and fun casting secrets. These movies tell stories about wild meet-cutes that seem entirely far-fetched, but what I learned is that some of these movies were made because of similar moments. Kevin Kwan is the original author of the book Crazy Rich Asians. He wrote a character based on his friend’s cousin who was in film school. That person was John Chu, who ended up directing the movie.
The famous scene from There’s Something About Mary where her hair gets a new look? It almost didn’t happen because Cameron Diaz could not get on board. They convinced her at the last minute the day of filming. Similarly, the famous sandwich scene from When Harry Met Sally was so uncomfortable to do for Meg Ryan that everyone performed the fake orgasm along with her ahead of time, including the director whose mother was an extra on set.
The book points out that there was a peak in rom-coms success. But something happened, and things fell apart. My theory is that people needed a little break from the romance and fluff for a while. When online dating and social media ramped up, the movies struggled to put out scripts that got even close to reality. The industry is catching up in recent years with a small resurgence on streaming services, and I’m here for it. I’d take a funny love story any day over the wild fantasy romances that are taking the internet by storm.
The best way to sum up my thoughts on these unrealisitic but lovely stories is this quote from Mindy Kaling:
What I’d really like to to write is a romantic comedy. This is my favorite kind of movie. I feel almost embarassed revealing this, because the genre has been so degraded in the past twenty years that saying you like romantic comedies is essentially an admission of mild stupidity…
I regard romantic comedies as a subgenre of sci-fi, in which the world operates according to different rules than my regular human world. For me, there is no difference between Ripley from Alien and any Katherine Heigl character. They are equally implausible.
Buy a copy of the book here and support your local independent bookstore (or get a copy for your Kindle here.)
10 Romantic Comedies I Think You Should Watch
I don’t think these are the best, but they are all movies I could watch repeatedly. They are my comfort movies, and I just don’t get sick of them.
When Harry Met Sally
You’ve Got Mail
Just Go With It
Crazy Rich Asians
The Proposal
Breakfast at Tiffany’s
13 Going on 30
How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days
Fever Pitch
Anyone But You
Small (and Free) Acts of Love
If you are looking for ways to show a little love, consider doing one of these for someone in your life. Most of these cost no money and might just make someone’s day. Spread love to your friends, partners, family, and neighbors any day of the year.
Send dumb shit in the mail - kid's drawings, postcards, random cards. It doesn’t matter what it is. My friends send me things their kids draw, and we love it so much that we have an entire wall dedicated to random mail artwork.
Food of ANY KIND - Did you make too many cookies or muffins? Do you make sourdough bread? Food is never a bad idea.
A text that something reminds you of me - Our friends in New York text whenever they see deviled eggs at a restaurant or on TV. We used to order them everywhere and have spent a few Easters drinking mimosas and eating these salty treats, and I love that it still connects us across the country.
Make a playlist - We are past the time of mixtapes and burned CDs, but you can still organize a playlist and share it with a friend. Songs can transport the listener, so build something with nostalgia. Or you can share brand new music you think they would love.
Inside jokes - Rename your group text thread with something that will make everyone smile when they see it. Lean into the memories that will make your cheeks hurt from laughing.
Ask for advice - Often, we get a little embarrassed when faced with tricky situations in life, and it’s hard to admit what we don’t know. But I’ve learned that asking others can give you essential insight, and it shows them you care and trust them.
Acknowledge the calendar - Birthdays should be on your calendar, but not just those dates. Add in the anniversary of the last day of cancer treatment, their dog’s gotcha day, wedding anniversaries, and dates where your friends might be grieving the loss of a loved one. Make them feel seen on days when they might be celebrating or having a rough time.
Be a hype person - No one is a better hype person than someone who loves you. If your friends have a business, unique project, work promotion, or even silly accomplishments, shout about it from the mountaintops.
A thank you - Send a thank you card or email for anything and everything. Acknowledging the kindness of others will make them more likely to repeat.
An apology - Did you stick your foot in your mouth or maybe do something you’re second-guessing the next day? Apologize. Holding yourself accountable and having self-awareness is such a bad-ass quality. It’s not easy, and I know I still need to work on it, but try it.
Pick up matching outfits or accessories - Friendship bracelets are having a moment again, but I’m also a big fan of matching pajamas with my girlfriends. If I find something I love, why wouldn’t my BFF love the same thing?
Invitations - I’m honored when I get an invitation to something special. Being included in celebrations big and small fills my heart with love. Even if it might seem silly, throw out an invite.
The understanding when you have to cancel or decline - Some people have calendars that feel like a game of Tetris. Show a little grace when someone has to cancel at the last minute or declines an invite. You never know what’s happening in their life. If it’s a pattern, you can reassess.
Voice memos - These are the modern voicemails. When I see them pop up in my text messages, I just know that one of my girlfriends (Hi Kelsey) had so much to say on a topic that she had to just record it.
Social media compliments - My teenage nieces have the most positive comments anytime they post anything on Instagram, and I want to be more like them. Celebrate the moments because people don’t have to share, so it’s cool that they give you a glimpse, and you should reciprocate the love.
Here’s an interesting piece on whether or not rom-coms are theater-worthy. I love watching movies at home, so I don’t disagree with this.
We just watched this brand new rom-com, and it had so much potential, but it just completely fell flat for me. Anyone else?
I just bought this lounge outfit, and it’s the most comfortable thing I’ve purchased in the last few months. Treat yourself this Valentine’s Day with very unsexy loungewear.
Loved the Superbowl halftime show and game this year, but the commercials kind of sucked. This story made me fall in love with Jalen Hurts.
Wrote this piece about Quietcations and now I’m trying to figure out where to plan our summer vacation.
Love is Blind is back and takes place in my hometown of Minneapolis. I understand that this show has many problems, but I will be watching it again. I’m curious if a city with 410,000 people really is too small for this show to work.
Trying Nuuly for the first time and just got my first shipment of cozy sweaters and trendy pants that I need to try before committing to. So far, I’m impressed and I like the idea of renting clothes instead of buying them, but I couldn’t imagine doing this often. Use this to get $30 off if you want to try.
Comment and let me know what your favorite romantic comedy is. Am I the only one who thinks Meg Ryan is the best? Happy Valentine’s Day to all those who care and celebrate.
Cheers and love!
Steph