Issue #39: My Favorite Mid-Life Hacks
Things I've learned so far to help ease the transition to my mid-life phase (aka a birthday post)
Mid-life takes place between 40 and 60. I just turned 39, so I’m technically entering my 40th year on the planet. I have so much to learn, but I’m also self-aware enough to know that. Getting older is cool emotionally and mentally because you care a little less about dumb shit, but not always the best physically. Also, check back in with me on the “emotional” part because I heard that can get wild in the next decade.
As I figure things out, I’ve been taking notes even though I know that younger people always ignore the advice of anyone in their 40s and older. I love reading lists of things people wish they had known earlier, so I figured I’d share a few of those myself. If anyone can even take one thing from this list, it’s worth taking the time to share it.
These are musings, hacks, advice, and just things you should consider adding to your inventory. And I made the list of 39 to celebrate this birthday.
39 Things I Have Found Useful Entering Mid-Life
Send mail. It will always be fun to open the mailbox and see something other than junk mail and random bills. Put drawings that your kids did or random, interesting newspaper articles in the mail and send them to a friend. Send congratulations when there are new jobs and encouragement for new hobbies. You never know what you might receive in return.
Reddit is wonderfully helpful. I avoided it for the longest time because I didn’t want to fall into another black hole on the internet, but Reddit has all the good reviews of products, shortcuts for software programs, and travel tips.
Beware of subscriptions. The idea that they save is bullshit most of the time because we end up with more products or paying for more time than we really need, and it’s more expensive in the long run. Plus, some are impossible to cancel. If you have the option for a one-time purchase, consider it.
Keep a note with warranty information. I was able to replace a set of sheets and some socks this year because the companies guaranteed them for life because of our washing machine. It ate one sock and ripped a hole in the sheets, and both were replaced for free. This is the sock brand I will forever purchase.
Reach out to customer service. The warranties I mentioned above were honored when I sent a quick note to customer service teams. The amazing response made me spend more money with those brands because they clearly stand behind their products and are kind to their customers.
These dorky glasses are actually brilliant. My husband hurt his back and needed to spend time lying on the floor. These allowed him to look at his computer and a book without straining his neck. Now we use them when we are reading sometimes to practice and improve posture.
Acupuncture was another lifesaver in his back injury. He has said that the amount of relaxation provided is better than a deep tissue massage. Now that he found a local place he loves, I know how easy it will be to pop in if I get injured.
Determine your basic pantry essentials so you can always make something at home. We always have noodles, jasmine rice, coconut milk, canned green chiles, and quinoa in the pantry. With those, I can always make some kind of concoction with any leftover vegetables.
Know how to make 3-4 great sandwiches. Making decisions about food can be exhausting, but sandwiches are easy. I try to buy the ingredients for one of our favorite sandwiches each week. It makes lunchtime more simple. Our favorites include radish salad, chickpea salad, veggie sandwiches always with banana peppers, and the classic peanut butter and jelly with quality jam.
Google Maps has great features for organizations (and they are free). I save places recommended by others, and I can add a note to remember who told me about them. Once I visit a place, I remove the green flag and change it to a heart if I would also recommend it. It makes it really easy for me to recommend spots if someone asks. I can even share the maps with others.
Matching pajamas are more comfortable than mismatched ones. It’s just science (and an excuse to get nice pajamas.) I just ordered this $30 set for summer.
There is something magical about a sauna. I have a lot of Scandinavian in my blood, but I think it’s good for everyone.
The best way for me to get my fruits and veggies is a daily smoothie. Everyone is shlepping powders and supplements, but I just throw the real deal into a blender. It’s hard to mess it up, honestly. I like to freeze any spinach, kale, or greens I buy for recipes and don’t use. I like to buy Trader Joe’s carrot/turmeric juice to add to almond milk. Nothing is left behind.
Dryer balls do make a difference, and I don’t have to deal with nasty chemical laundry smells. I have this set at home.
Join your community social media pages. Whether it’s a buy-nothing group or just your neighborhood page, you’ll be dialed in. It’s the only reason I keep Facebook now. Some of it is unhinged and crazy, but there are enough helpful notes that it’s worth keeping.
Learn to compliment. So many people struggle to see themselves the way that others see them, so it’s always worth the few seconds to boost people up. Read this for some insight on how to give good compliments.
Costco gas is a steal and worth the drive whenever you can swing it.
When it comes to your relationships, be careful not to give more than you receive. It’s the best advice anyone ever gave me. With every relationship, there is a give-and-take, and it changes with life. But there will be friends with whom you feel frustrated over time, and the trick might be to dial back what you’re giving to preserve some of your emotional energy. Try this before completely letting go.
Get a library card and use it.
Set reminders to text dumb shit to your people. If you don’t send stupid Instagram reels back and forth, start today. I actually have a reminder on my calendar two days a week to reach out to some people in my life and share mundane details about my daily routines.
Strength workouts are most important for women. I learned that in all my recent menopause research. Peloton has a million options for me, so I’ve been doing 3 days a week of at least 30 minutes, and it’s easy to keep up with. Protect your skeletal system and your muscles.
People should feel comfortable talking about health. I’m always surprised at how many people have experienced things in their health journey but felt alone and isolated. I think more people should share their experiences with those they are comfortable with. Sometimes, it’s just nice to feel like you aren’t the only one facing things.
People notice if you're on your phone all the time. It’s kind of annoying, so try to put it down when you’re with others.
But take photos on your phone because we all carry around cameras now and should have photos with our friends and family.
And while you’re at it, turn on the Live Photos feature. When you miss people, videos are great, and the Live Photos feature means you have tons of tiny videos in your camera roll.
Canned cocktails are the best. I tried having a bar cart, and it was a huge waste of money. My favorites are still Cutwater, but I love the local spots, too.
Schedule a wellness exam every year around your birthday. Find a primary doctor and get some baseline numbers taken. Many young people just go to urgent care when they have an emergency and skip the rest. Your primary doctor is your key to finding specialists and tracking your vitals over time. It’s important.
Invest in good noise-cancelling headphones. I bought some shitty ones to save money, and they hurt my ears. I bought these because they were still more affordable than many, but they are great, and I use them daily. You never know when you’ll need to block out other sounds.
A stockpile of things is annoying. The more you own, the longer it takes to clean, organize, and find things. If you already own a stash of candles, party supplies, puzzles, or anything else that’s waiting to be used, stop buying more.
Small local elections matter. Don’t just vote. Take time to learn about your city council. They have a huge impact on your daily life, and you sure not just pick someone’s name you see on the signs.
Emergency supplies are a good idea. I’m not preparing for any kind of apocalypse, but I have been making a list of things we should have in case of emergency. We don’t have a stockpile yet, but I’ll be adding some water jugs and food supplies to the garage in the near future, along with first aid and flashlights. With all the horrible storms and weather patterns in the US, it’s good to be prepared.
Clean out your makeup and medicine cabinet twice a year and throw shit away.
I miss a mixtape. There is no gift like a personalized playlist of music. Sit down and think about the person and put together a nice collection of songs that you think they will appreciate. It’s such a beautiful thing to do for someone that doesn’t cost anything. Just text them a link when the moment comes.
Automate little things using IFTTT. This little automation guide has been doing my light work for years before AI became a hot topic. I have it organize my Spotify recommendations, track investments, and even warn me about rain.
You don’t need to be friends with everyone. Just a reminder that I need often. Be kind to everyone, but you don’t need to go all in if something doesn’t click. Human connections are wild—trust your gut.
The best small talk is sharing something you read, watched, or listened to recently. Everyone loves recommendations and discussing content. I’m still guilty of bringing up the weather, but I’m really working on it.
Finding a therapist isn’t easy, but it’s worth it. We could all use guidance and more self-awareness.
Make your bed the most comfortable place in your home. Invest in good sheets, comfortable pillows, good lighting, and everything else you need for a good night’s sleep.
Celebrate the changing of seasons. They are way more important to the natural cycle than holidays.
If you didn’t click the link above, make sure to read about how to give a good compliment.
Finished another Cozy Cookbook Review, and I’m also slowly redesigning the website that goes with this newsletter. Check it out.
There’s a new trend of people 50 and older looking for roommates.
I’m excited to get this book in the mail next month, just in time for a live event to see the author at Third Place Books in Seattle. Does anyone want to read it at the same time?
Traveling to Singapore? I wrote this 4-day itinerary that would be perfect for a long layover in one of my favorite cities in the world.
Hope you had a lovely long weekend! Cheers to aging because getting older is a gift, dammit. I’ll be back this week again for a second time with my favorites from May, so make sure you subscribe.
Steph
Quite late reading this but just wanted to say I loved it. Great list. I was texting my BFF this morning about how acupuncture has changed my life and health over the past few years
Those reading glasses! LOL Loved this issue so much!