Issue #12: The One That is Unapologetically Girly
Because it's just an every girl summer
In the last few years, there have been sad girl summers and hot girl summers. This summer seems to be a summer for girls who struggle to shove themselves into a small box, or at least that’s how I see it. Wear pink or hate pink, but you shouldn’t need to mold yourself into a certain look or feel to be on trend for the summer season.
In this issue, I’m diving into everything “girly,” from the Barbie movie to the girly things I love. Honestly, I don’t know that I’ve ever really used that word, and now it’s finding its way into every paragraph. I really mean the stereotypical “girl” things, similar to the stereotypical Barbie featured in my new favorite movie. I hope everyone enjoys the little luxuries like I do whenever you can.
Plus, I spent an obnoxious amount of time on a new playlist that fits this theme nicely, and you can find it at the bottom of this email.
My Thoughts on Barbie
The movie was incredible. I wish I had the stamina to make it a double feature with Oppenheimer like so many people, but honestly, I’m glad I spent two hours with a friend just enjoying a damn good movie. It’s been a week since I saw it, and I can’t stop thinking about it, so I wanted to share some of my thoughts. No real spoilers, but if you want to go into the movie completely blind, skip this and go to the next section.
Kate McKinnon plays “Weird Barbie,” and the details were perfect. How she stands against the wall doing splits made me laugh so hard. No one else could’ve played that role.
The Barbie Dreamhouse set design looked amazing. I hope they eventually turn this into a theme park somewhere because I have to imagine generations of people would love visiting this in real life. In the meantime, take the Architectural Digest tour with Margot Robbie and appreciate all the details.
The rollerblading outfits. People laughed at them, but I’ve seen similar outfits on the boardwalk in San Diego when we lived there, so it didn’t seem that far-fetched.
Ken’s obsession with horses.
The snarky narration from Helen Mirren, including the line where they acknowledge that Margot Robbie is not the best choice for a Barbie that is “plain.”
Each choreographed dance sequence. Don’t make me pick a favorite.
There is a scene where the Barbies must be reprogrammed to fight back against the Kens, but each Ken needs to be distracted to get to the Barbie. The distractions were so clever and stereotypical. One Barbie asks about money, and another lets Ken take her glasses off so he can discover how “beautiful” she is, and finally, the one where Barbie asks Ken about the Godfather. It was hilarious.
A soundtrack featuring the Indigo Girls and Matchbox20, each to represent a different society. It was brilliant.
America Ferrara’s character has an iconic monologue. It’s been published in every major publication, but it’s worth sharing again. As a writer, I appreciate when someone is able to capture so much in a few paragraphs and have everyone talking about it. This is a great capture of something that many women feel on a daily basis. Sure, there is more that could be said, and some people disagree, but it’s worth sharing again here:
"It is literally impossible to be a woman. You are so beautiful, and so smart, and it kills me that you don't think you're good enough. Like, we have to always be extraordinary, but somehow we're always doing it wrong.
You have to be thin, but not too thin. And you can never say you want to be thin. You have to say you want to be healthy, but also you have to be thin. You have to have money, but you can't ask for money because that's crass. You have to be a boss, but you can't be mean. You have to lead, but you can't squash other people's ideas. You're supposed to love being a mother, but don't talk about your kids all the damn time. You have to be a career woman but also always be looking out for other people. You have to answer for men's bad behavior, which is insane, but if you point that out, you're accused of complaining. You're supposed to stay pretty for men, but not so pretty that you tempt them too much or that you threaten other women because you're supposed to be a part of the sisterhood.
But always stand out and always be grateful. But never forget that the system is rigged. So find a way to acknowledge that but also always be grateful. You have to never get old, never be rude, never show off, never be selfish, never fall down, never fail, never show fear, never get out of line.
It's too hard! It's too contradictory and nobody gives you a medal or says thank you! And it turns out, in fact, that not only are you doing everything wrong, but also everything is your fault.
I'm just so tired of watching myself and every single other woman tie herself into knots so that people will like us. And if all of that is also true for a doll just representing women, then I don't even know."
Finally, I’m especially curious about the “woke garbage” commentary many right-wing politicians and pundits hit on before the movie was released. It feels like they try to find lightning rods as much as possible to get their quotes picked up and plastered on the front pages. Honestly, it’s exhausting, and the movie is smashing records, and Twitter is currently dying a slow death, so it feels like they are shouting into the void. When will it be Kenough?
Stereotypically “Girly” Things That I Love
Now, growing up, I would have considered myself a tomboy. I definitely felt like Sporty Spice would always be my character. Unless you count this hula girl outfit that someone brought me from Hawaii, which I only ever wore for this picture (except the hat - I loved that hat.)
But as I’ve grown up, there are some stereotypical “girly” things that I absolutely love and cannot quit them. Even three or four years ago, I would have called these “guilty pleasures,” but since it’s the summer of liberation for girly things, I’m sharing them here and proudly talking about them nonstop. There is no reason to feel guilty, childish, or annoying for liking what you like.
Pajama Sets - I work from home, so many days, I rock pajamas well past my morning coffee. I’ve recently started buying good pajamas. I love a matching set (like this.) It’s become one of the little luxuries I treat myself to every once in a while.
Good Candles - This probably isn’t girly, although I’ve never seen a man buy another man a candle, but I love a good-smelling candle. I love lighting one in the morning when I’m working, especially if it’s raining or cold outside. Here are a few of my favorites.
Nail Polish - I went without nail polish on my fingers or toes for a year when we traveled full-time. It was one less thing to carry. But now I’m back on the train. I don’t always have them painted, but I like to take advantage of bright colors and shiny glitter for special occasions or when I’m bored and need something to do.
Feminist Comedies - This is my favorite genre of movie. Mean Girls, Bridesmaids, 9-to-5, Troop Beverly Hills, First Wives Club. I love an ensemble of women stars that make me laugh and feel relatable. You can’t go wrong.
Dresses - I hated dresses when I was a kid, but now I appreciate their comfort. Loose-fitting, flowy dresses are perfect in the summer. There’s no better way to stay both cool and comfortable than a good summer dress.
Women’s Olympic Sports - Sure, I’ll watch men’s hockey and maybe one or two other sporting events, but I’m usually only really tuning in for the ladies. Whether skiing, snowboarding, figure skating, gymnastics, track & field, or swimming, I love cheering on the solo female athletes in the Olympics. I think they are more interesting to learn about and watch perform.
Fruity Drinks - Watermelon, strawberry lemonade vodka drinks? Sign me up. Lavender Haze drinks before a Taylor Swift concert? Please add the glitter. I like slushy frozen drinks and sangrias and all kinds of fruity drinks.
Crying - Whether it’s at weddings, movies, books, songs, or stupid TikTok videos that friends send me, I’m a crier. I cry when I laugh too hard, I cry when I think about sad things, and I cry every single time I watch people run in a marathon. I used to try and hide it, but that seems ridiculous. Let the tears fall, and don’t hold in those emotions.
Flowers - Trader Joe’s flowers are a staple in my grocery runs. I like buying them for myself. They are pretty and bring me joy. I tried farmer’s market flowers, but they die right away no matter what I do, so $3 daisies will continue to be my jam.
Girl Dinner - Is it just me, or are we naming “trends” that don’t really need to be named? (I’m looking at you coastal grandmother and quiet luxury.) But girl dinner is something that I’ve been doing for years, especially when my husband travels for work. Crackers, cheese, veggies, dip, fruit, chocolate. Whatever is in my cabinets and can be consumed without me needing to cook, I’m game. So, if we need to name it girl dinner, fine.
Taylor Swift - If you read this post, you already know all about my Taylor Swift obsession, but I’m happy to report that it has not quit since the concert. I like to call her capitalist Barbie because she is damn good at making money wherever possible, and I’m here for it.
Other Things I’m Loving Online
This brilliant TikToker mashed Ken’s song with a montage of Kendall Roy, and it’s perfect. Kelsey put together a list of her favorite Sports Romances (and to be honest, I didn’t even know that was a genre in literature.) Speaking of book lists, this is the beach read assigned to each individual state for the summer (I’m reading this WA one right now.) My new favorite summertime sandwich is this recipe. Dreaming about a long weekend in Boston after updating this post. Hoping this mug comes back in stock. If you don’t already subscribe to The Morning Person, you should.
Enjoy this Barbie playlist filled with songs performed by women who seem pretty unapologetic. (And yes, I spent an embarrassing amount of time making this playlist.)
Let me know what feminist comedies are your favorite. I need to make sure I have a long list and that I’ve checked off everyone.
Cheers everyone! Also, please share this with your friends and help me grow this little online space.
Steph